Perhaps I have been grieving all alone and keep everything to myself. Or because the person I trust the most with my heart has turn his back on me at the time I need him the most.
I do everything I can and wanted, so that I will be able to be happy again. To feel happy and to truly being happy without pretending I am.
I have always been a strong girl. Well, I should replace the word 'girl' with 'lady'. I'm a strong lady. When he left my heart to million pieces, I remained calm and silent. I held my tears and told myself, I have to be strong, because at least I still have my Mama. Mama, Mak, Mother. She was my strength and motivation and inspiration for me to stay strong and focus on what comes ahead me. Being there by her side, I feel so much secure. Safe and protected. Well, that's what every mother does right? To protect her child.
Her death is a big loss to me. Huge and enormous. I still need her in my life. I am not ready to lose her. How can I survive living this world without her? And I truly believe she wouldn't want to leave me either. I love her so much, I love my mother so much. But trust me, MY MOTHER RAISED A TOUGH CHILD.
